Empowering Women: A Beautiful Homebirth Story with Doula Support in SWFL

We appreciate the 2nd time mom (and 2nd time Mindful Birth family) for graciously sharing her incredible homebirth experience with us!

"For context I think it’s important to share that for my first, my son, I had planned for a Homebirth that turned into a non emergency hospital transfer. It was an experience so far from what I had hoped and although I am so grateful for my healthy boy, I did carry some birth trauma. Thankfully I had an amazing team (Tara my doula and my midwives Jamie and Jennifer) that supported me emotionally and physically so I was excited to have them throughout my pregnancy and birth of my second, my daughter Ivy. Now onto our birth story! 

I had been very emotional and in my head about a lot.. I had this feeling I’d give birth early (spoiler alert that didn’t happen haha) and with two hurricanes, Helene then Milton, hitting within my potential birth window I was very stressed. Thankfully my fears didn’t come to fruition and with the storms passed, I felt more ready than ever to have this baby. 

Over the course of this past week I’d noticed increasing Braxton Hicks contractions but no cramping. I was starting to fixate on the days and when she’d make her arrival because of how uncomfortable I was getting and knowing Milo had come before she did at that point. 

On Friday October 11, I was 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I started getting really regular Braxton hicks for about 5 hours which was exciting because it was definitely something different than I’d been experiencing prior! I even took a bath and changed positions/kept hydrated to see if they’d lessen and they stayed which felt like something. It got to a point where some were feeling crampy so I text Jamie, Jennifer and Tara that afternoon just in case. I was very in my head about not wanting to call anyone too soon or almost jinx anything because of how long my labor was with Milo, but I prayed I would trust my intuition this time and I feel like I did!

Unfortunately in the evening (around 5pm), I felt like things kind of fizzled out. There was no real pattern anymore and the frequency was minimal. I started getting discouraged because I had gotten my hopes up baby was on her way. When Jon got home we last minute decided to do something nice and grab dinner with Milo just the three of us to get out of the house and get our minds off things. We went to one of our favorite restaurants that happened to be where we went to the night I went into labor with Milo. During dinner I was still getting a few crampy Braxton hicks (really just mild contractions at this point) but they were so sporadic I didn’t get my hopes up. After a nice night we came home and got ready for bed. 

I fell asleep pretty early, around 10pm or maybe a bit earlier and remember waking up just slightly to some cramping but being able to fall back asleep easily. Around 12:30am I woke up to use the bathroom and realized I was having contractions still. At this point I was having to use the bathroom really frequently.. like 5 times within an hour or so. I knew something was happening but I was comparing my experience with Milo to this and because I hadn’t lost my mucus plug or bloody show I wasn’t sure what to think. I tried to rest but between the mild contractions and having to use the bathroom so frequently, it wasn’t happening. 

By about 1:30am I was starting to get more crampy and uncomfortable so I decided to see if a shower would help. Contractions kept coming so I felt optimistic baby would be coming soon but didn’t want to get ahead of myself. Soon after, I was having more trouble managing my contractions on my own and decided to ask Jon for support. Around 3am or so I was struggling a bit. I was trying my best to rest in between contractions but they were coming like 5/6 mins apart and laying down through them felt much more intense. I was having trouble relaxing my body through contractions and not tensing up. Jon was holding my hands when I needed and just a great emotional support for me. He made sure I kept hydrated, timed my contractions for me, and later relayed texts with Tara since I couldn’t handle dealing with my phone. I remember at this time I had a little lull between contractions and got hit with a very strong one which resulted in me throwing up quite a bit and all over myself to make it better lol. I had just blow dried my hair that morning knowing labor could be coming but had to now wash it again Jon was watching me through these contractions for almost two hours now and wanted me to get in touch with Tara. I didn’t want to wake everyone up too soon so I decided to text instead and save the phone call for when I thought I really needed support. Tara actually responded anyway which I wasn’t expecting and it gave me peace of mind knowing someone knew where I was at in labor. 

She checked in a few times and by 5am I was having a hard time. I kept telling Jon I didn’t want to do this anymore and I wanted to go to sleep lol. Pressure was building in my lower back during contractions and I was verbalizing through my contractions for a while instinctually which also felt like a sign of progression. I threw up again at some point and was having lots of hormone surges that left me shaking uncontrollably on and off. I felt like my contractions spaced out slightly after my second shower but because the intensity was stronger Tara decided it would be a good idea to come which I agreed with; I was definitely starting to feel like I needed extra support. She also recommended calling Jamie and Jen, so by about 5:30am everyone was on their way! 

At 6am Tara arrived and Milo had just recently woken up. Much earlier than normal but thankfully he was in a great mood. This was something I struggled with; I was really emotional thinking about Milo leaving during the birth when contemplating what to do in the weeks leading up. But, I also knew I needed Jon’s support and if he was taking care of Milo I wasn’t sure how that would affect me in labor. It was a blessing how calm and happy he was when he woke up (not always the case lol) and that it timed almost perfectly with Tara’s arrival so I did have extra support when Jon couldn’t be there. I was so focused on labor that I felt it was a good decision dropping Milo off with Jon’s parents and Milo being happy to do so made it so much easier. Jon left and Tara supported me through contractions in between helping us setup the tub and bed (Milo sleeps with us so we weren’t able to do so earlier since we were setting things up in our bedroom). I was feeling intense pressure in my back during contractions so having Tara apply counter pressure during was incredibly soothing, the difference between getting through them without that support was HARD. She also suggested leaning forward over something to help alleviate some of the pressure in my back so that became my routine through contractions.  

Things were ramping up more in intensity and I was definitely struggling at times. I threw up AGAIN and even had a contraction during which was kind of torture lol. Tara’s gentle affirmations and her calming presence were so helpful. I already knew this after having her with me during Milo’s birth but it was such a different experience birthing unmedicated and at home, I definitely relied on her in a different way this time.

I made sure to keep things dark with just flameless candles lit and the curtains shut now that the sun was starting to rise to keep me in the zone. We had our white noise on from overnight and funny enough I kept it on the whole time and it actually was nice to have that background sound during everything. At this point it was about 7am and Jamie and Jennifer were arriving. I was fully immersed mentally in laboring and in between contractions mostly kept quiet with my eyes closed to stay focused and relaxed. I was still aware of what was going on though because I started to wonder how close I was and was feeling very exhausted. Everyone asked if I wanted to try getting in the tub but I was almost apprehensive because I didn’t want to get in too early when I had no idea how close I was, but it was too enticing so I went in lol. The warm water was so soothing I was able to rest in between contractions which was really nice. I settled into a position on my side with one leg raised so I could rest my head on the side of the tub. Tara kept me hydrated in between contractions and had a cool washcloth on my forehead which helped keep me much more comfortable and allowed me to rest when I could without having to ask anyone for anything. 

During my contractions I had been feeling lots of pressure in my back and bottom for a while which was only intensifying. I asked if I could be checked because I was in my head about where I was in labor (plus my contractions felt like they spaced out a bit after getting in the tub) so I got out of the water to pee first and then get checked after. I didn’t love sitting on the toilet (an understatement) because the contractions were so intense but I had no choice haha. As I was sitting there we all heard a loud gush and I realized my water had broken! As I walked out I said, “I’m going to be so mad if I feel like this and I’m only dilated to a 2” lol. Everyone knew that wasn’t the case but it was extra funny in hindsight when my body clearly was progressing but I was almost too nervous to acknowledge it. I decided not to be checked since my water had broken and got back in the tub. I remember seeing Jamie and Jen put on gloves around this time and that was additional reassurance I was getting close. 

It was a little after 8:30am at this point and my body started feeling the urge to push during contractions. With the intense pressure I recognized it as the Fetal Ejection Reflex which is something I heard about with unmedicated births but experiencing was so crazy! Pushing in general was such a different sensation, it finally felt productive and like something I was an active participant in versus contractions which felt like they were happening to me. This stage became very “primal” as Tara affectionately put it and I was making really deep and loud sounds. I asked Jon to put my worship playlist on although I’m not sure I could hear it over the noise I was making haha. Jamie recommended switching positions (I think baby’s heart rate did better with the change from side lying to hands and knees) so I got into hands and knees for the rest of labor. I remember feeling what I guess is the ring of fire and saying calmly and questionably out loud to everyone “I feel something burning” haha. At some point after I reached down and felt her head which gave me a boost of energy to keep going. During this time everyone was encouraging me and affirming all the work I was putting in to bring my baby earth side which is such a beautiful memory. After about 17 mins total of pushing, Ivy was born at 9am! She was wrapped up in her cord so I asked Jamie and Jennifer to help me and after she was untangled she was immediately brought to my chest where she stayed for hours.

Getting to have this redemptive birth was so healing and empowering for me. Between Tara, Jamie and Jennifer I couldn’t have had a more amazing team to support and guide me. I had a specific list of 8 things I was praying and believing for in my labor and birth and all 8 happened; it was truly a surreal and incredible experience."

Authored by Alexis, mother of 2

Our doula best,

Tara + The Mindful Birth Doulas