Doula Diaries: Diving Into Birth Legos; September 10, 2016
I have this bet with my husband, or maybe more of a "deal." The deal is, I love my short hair. Mike has only seen pictures of me with long hair, down to the middle of my back, and he's always commented on how beautiful it looked. Well, there's this staircase I adore, I've only seen pictures of it, and I always comment on how beautiful it looks. One day Mike joked, dripping with sarcasm, "I'll build you your staircase when you grow your hair out." I was immediately IN! Yes! We shook on it and everything. So if you see me with awkward growing-out hair instead of my funky cuts, you now know why.
And then the reality of building the staircase himself has started to sink in, and I think (I'm not positive) but I think he's slightly terrified by the idea.
When we've never done something before, we don't know how to do it. And we find ourselves shying away, agreeing with our inner Judge, maybe I'm not qualified, maybe it's not the right time, maybe I simply don't wanna.
Then there's Ty. We affectionately refer to him to be in "Maniac Mode" when he's not sleeping, basically. If you have a 2 year old then you know...they want to do everything themSELVES. Why is it that the 2 year old has no problem scaling furniture and diving, Phelps style, straight into a bucket of Legos? Need help carrying that too-heavy box up the stairs while stark naked with a fork in one hand? Sure, he's your man! No idea what that spoonful of white stuff is? He'll eat it anyway! (It was cream cheese). So, why is it that the 2-year-old approaches new tasks with reckless abandon while we adults second guess ourselves along the way? When does that change? How do we become so disconnected from our inner Truth?
I had this brilliant idea to move forward with creating an online childbirth education course. That part was really exciting. What I didn't want to do myself was the actual videorecording and editing. What do I know about videorecording and editing? I'll tell you this: I heard the message loud and clear that after months of searching for outside help and hitting roadblock after roadblock, I finally understand that I can do it mySELF. In fact, I think that's the real lesson at play here. And I found myself creating an intro and outtro for the video course, set to music and everything, and really enjoying the process. As Mike's new saying goes, "The easy road often becomes hard and the hard road often becomes easy." I think he got that from Rich Dad, Poor Dad (which is a fantastic read, by the way!). Maybe doing the hard work ourselves first will create an easy road of abundance in the future. Maybe the biggest roadblock is in our mind, and when we can look at that head-on and honestly, often times those roadblocks become just lines in the sand.
So the other day we were on a walk in our neighborhood where there are still some houses in the process of being built. Ty was not in Maniac Mode and we were enjoying the fresh air. Mike sprinted over to a house that was the same model as ours. He was studying how they were building that staircase.
How does this apply to your birth preparation? What are you seeking to avoid, and what are you telling yourself along the way? What parts do you not want to do your self? And what if those parts are actually the lesson, the parts that you CAN do yourself and perhaps are required to do yourself, as part of Life's grand lesson? Maybe you find yourself shying away from confrontation with your doctor or your family. (Probably means that's your #1 task to tackle!). Maybe you think you're too busy for a childbirth class. (Probably means it's a necessary part of your preparation!). Maybe you are terrified of pushing and tearing. (Probably means it's time to face head-on what you can do to cope if that does come to fruition). In other words, how can you WARRIOR UP and face whatever it is you initially seek to avoid?
Ty may approach life with joyful abandon, yet he also feels the complete support of his mama, daddy and brother and sister. He's thankfully never had to face life's harsh realities at his young age of 2. In order to approach life, your birth, or whatever task you are facing, how are you setting yourself up with support so that you can wiggle around a bit and figure out what it is that you need to allow the hard road to become easy? Who is holding your hand while you dive head first into your bucket of Legos?
Ty just sprinted into my room with a too-big grin saying, "Jump! Stool! Blanket!" Time to go help him build another obstacle course. Still learning from the 2 year old life's biggest lessons.
-Chris
P.S. I''ll be recording my November 4-week childbirth series as part of the upcoming Online Childbirth Course. There are spots open, register for this November 4-week series here! (Perfect if your due date is late November, December or January).
More from the Doula Diaries Series:
